STATE OF GLOOM

I woke up in a state of gloom ,
Melancholy has sunk in and slowly devoured me,
I've tried to compensate for my mood, 
Until I breakdown and cry, I've realized that I have failed miserably to compose myself, I've been trying to regulate this mindset on my own, It's been rather difficult to remain content, I am perplexed, as yesterday was joyous and fulfilling, Yet, today, everything rosy about this world has dissipated, Negative clustered thoughts lined up to infiltrate my brain, thoughts about him, them, they, age, life, regrets, have returned, Why can't I move on? Why don't I have it yet? why do I feel alone? I wallow in misery and remain immobile, I lay in bed numbly and allow toxicity to consume me, ignore all invites because I'm simply worn out to force a smile, severely exhausted to initiate small talk with strangers, my room has become my sanctuary in isolation, I am safe in solitude here because no one will disappoint me, I am allowed to be myself and not suppress my emotions, I can kick, scream, cry and suddenly write!
pour out these overwhelming sentiments,
because out of pain stems creativity, MY WRITER'S BLOCK IS GONE! somewhat hopeful, I pray that tomorrow will be a better day, I HOPE that this gloom doesn't return,
I HOPE it was all a phase... as it usually is.

 

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