Distant

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As I’ve delved into the month of Spring,
You’ve become a faint dream,
I feel as though you were imagined,
nothing but a distant memory,

Sometimes I think I miss you,
however, it was merely the idea of you,

I felt so much in the past,
That I’ve accepted you’re loss,
You no longer cause me pain,
I’ve let you go,

I’ve become an introvert,
solely focused on my goals,
fixing my myself,
a work in progress…

yet here I am,
safe…
alone….

no one will hurt me,
you won’t hurt me.

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BACK TO THE GRIND AND HUSTLE WITH POSITIVE VIBES!

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Hello world! quick update I just landed a job in retail. Not the best job in the world but I figured if I’m smart I will administer my money the proper way. My major goal is to save as much as I can. Knock more debt out of my life. And when I have done so, I will focus on my graduate school plans, getting an apartment and car. I’ve read so many articles online on people with minimum paying jobs that were able to pay off thousands of dollars. As dull of a frugal life may be, it may not be as bad as I think. There are tons of free events around the city. It’s nice to be able to think that I am getting closer to my goal. I just need to stay consistent. I can honestly say I haven’t spent a dime this week aside from my metro card for transportation to my doctor. But I’m happy because I am learning to control myself. I am learning the value of what it finally means to ADULT. I am trying to remain appreciative and not put too many expectations on others. It’s when the expectations are not met where I feel disappointment. I think being unemployed truly sucks!

The first week was relaxing but then I became anxious because I grew bored from all of my home activities. I also felt pressured from all the bills I was slammed with. But I’ve hit a pivot point and realized that it’s best to work with what I have. Besides, most successful people had to do engage in grunt odd jobs before landing their preferred job. I hate customer service, however at the moment the lack of jobs has forced me to find a solution. I can’t just wait until the perfect job falls out of the sky. As the saying goes: “Rome wasn’t built in a day”. Meaning sometimes it will take a while till one gets to their greatest reward. I’m not particularly thrilled about this new gig but Retail is about faking it till you make it. Smile, sell and provide great customer service for that commission.

I can think of a trillion reasons to complain but what is the point, it will not solve my current issues. Reading and writing has calmed me down the past couple of days. Exposing myself to new information and documentaries has helped me to not be so self-absorbed. I’ve also steered away from people who are detrimental to my mental health. False friends that only want to drink and act like complete idiots. False friends that will use you only when they are having a crisis but can’t return the favor. False friends that are not there…period. Staying busy is the most magnificent thing a person can do. I love learning because my brain goes 50 mph and I can’t stay still. It’s when I am learning that I can beat depression and anxiety. The thoughts go away and my brain is focused on processing new information. Lately, I’ve been able to focus on things that stimulate me in a positive way. What are you doing to stay centered? Please share your thoughts below. Have a fab fri-yay!

NEXT STOP: A CAREER CHANGE

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One of the hardest things to do when you are unemployed is to SAVE. Currently, I’m in that state where I am engaging with anything or anyone that is FREE. As you already know, I am an avid concert goer and yet I’ve laid low with concert purchases. I’m also in the midst of saving for Graduate school, as I don’t know what funding will be like going forward. I’ve stopped shopping to become frugal because I’ve decided to make the most of every piece of item I own. No more fancy splurges on nails, nor boozy brunches or fancy cocktails. It’s hard but there are tons of things to do at an affordable price. Cooking meals at home will save you so much money and it will benefit you when you recycle left overs.

This is the best time for me to take advantage of being this free and apply to free scholarships. Chegg.com has tons of them. It’s certainly not easy, I’m still in transition of switching my career. Today, I was told I did not sufficient experience in an area of my field. My question to these picky industry folks is, ” How is one supposed to even gain experience if they are not given a chance?” I am frustrated.

However, a part of me is also motivated and I’m sure most of you (unemployed-soon-to pursue-graduate-school-folks ) can relate. I’ve sworn so much today well in my head. I’m just open to positive vibes going forward. And if I have to slave away in retail then screw it, I will do so. Anything, I just don’t want to be unemployed any longer. Spring is here and I’m not going to waste another day in bed. I am gonna get up and apply to more jobs. If you are ready for that career change don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, trust yourself and move forward. You have a vision and even if it requires grunt jobs temporarily you will get there!

Practice Mindfulness While Working On Your Passion

Life is not a race. This is the best thing I can tell someone who feels discouraged about not landing their dream job right away or their niche role. It may happen instantly or it may take years, however in the end, shouldn’t the journey be more exciting than the actual prize? That is how I felt about fashion business college. I loved it! However, there was frustration of not landing a permanent job after graduation.

I was told by various cut-throat freelance recruiters that I lacked sufficient experience which truly took a toll on me. I wish I could have told myself two years ago, not stress so much because nothing is ever permanent. Also, the tears and gray hair are to blame but sometimes has a large portion with how we handle the situation. Do we see the glass half full or empty? Some negative naive aspects of my past, have become life lessons and I can only move forward. Lamenting oneself will not help with progress but moving forward and living in the present will.

Mindfulness is a practice that we all need. Currently, I am riding the wave of uncertainty and working with my present situation. I’m not in the job I love but I am able to save my money and still work on my passion. This helps me stay positive and mindful. I’ve also decided to surround myself friends that genuinely care for me and that will stimulate me in a positive manner. This will influence decisions in life. Mindfulness can be practiced through meditation. Closing your eyes and breathing in and out helps center one’s thoughts. Eating a healthy meal and getting enough rest will also help with anxiety. Work on your hobbies, craft and experience. because you love it and you know that it’s your passion. Such relevant hobbies will keep you centered and grounded in terms of optimism.

Life doesn’t have to be all work. Work for a living yet follow your side passions. Who knows? Maybe this will open doors to a career which will feel more like a hobby and less like work. And when that day comes, you will never have to work a single day in your life. This expression will resonate well for those dreamers who want to make a career out of their passion and yes it is possible!

If you feel discouraged or not content with your current position. I’m here to remind you that it’s not ” a forever thing” as some idiot ex told me about dating. It’s best you write down what you feel regarding the job: it’s pros and it’s cons. Write down what you actually appreciate about it even if you despise it. I’m sure there are skillsets that have been learned. Everything you experience in life becomes a lesson. Experience the journey but do not get caught up on it. Stay positive by appreciating the growth during the process.