BACK TO THE GRIND AND HUSTLE WITH POSITIVE VIBES!

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Hello world! quick update I just landed a job in retail. Not the best job in the world but I figured if I’m smart I will administer my money the proper way. My major goal is to save as much as I can. Knock more debt out of my life. And when I have done so, I will focus on my graduate school plans, getting an apartment and car. I’ve read so many articles online on people with minimum paying jobs that were able to pay off thousands of dollars. As dull of a frugal life may be, it may not be as bad as I think. There are tons of free events around the city. It’s nice to be able to think that I am getting closer to my goal. I just need to stay consistent. I can honestly say I haven’t spent a dime this week aside from my metro card for transportation to my doctor. But I’m happy because I am learning to control myself. I am learning the value of what it finally means to ADULT. I am trying to remain appreciative and not put too many expectations on others. It’s when the expectations are not met where I feel disappointment. I think being unemployed truly sucks!

The first week was relaxing but then I became anxious because I grew bored from all of my home activities. I also felt pressured from all the bills I was slammed with. But I’ve hit a pivot point and realized that it’s best to work with what I have. Besides, most successful people had to do engage in grunt odd jobs before landing their preferred job. I hate customer service, however at the moment the lack of jobs has forced me to find a solution. I can’t just wait until the perfect job falls out of the sky. As the saying goes: “Rome wasn’t built in a day”. Meaning sometimes it will take a while till one gets to their greatest reward. I’m not particularly thrilled about this new gig but Retail is about faking it till you make it. Smile, sell and provide great customer service for that commission.

I can think of a trillion reasons to complain but what is the point, it will not solve my current issues. Reading and writing has calmed me down the past couple of days. Exposing myself to new information and documentaries has helped me to not be so self-absorbed. I’ve also steered away from people who are detrimental to my mental health. False friends that only want to drink and act like complete idiots. False friends that will use you only when they are having a crisis but can’t return the favor. False friends that are not there…period. Staying busy is the most magnificent thing a person can do. I love learning because my brain goes 50 mph and I can’t stay still. It’s when I am learning that I can beat depression and anxiety. The thoughts go away and my brain is focused on processing new information. Lately, I’ve been able to focus on things that stimulate me in a positive way. What are you doing to stay centered? Please share your thoughts below. Have a fab fri-yay!

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Practice Mindfulness While Working On Your Passion

Life is not a race. This is the best thing I can tell someone who feels discouraged about not landing their dream job right away or their niche role. It may happen instantly or it may take years, however in the end, shouldn’t the journey be more exciting than the actual prize? That is how I felt about fashion business college. I loved it! However, there was frustration of not landing a permanent job after graduation.

I was told by various cut-throat freelance recruiters that I lacked sufficient experience which truly took a toll on me. I wish I could have told myself two years ago, not stress so much because nothing is ever permanent. Also, the tears and gray hair are to blame but sometimes has a large portion with how we handle the situation. Do we see the glass half full or empty? Some negative naive aspects of my past, have become life lessons and I can only move forward. Lamenting oneself will not help with progress but moving forward and living in the present will.

Mindfulness is a practice that we all need. Currently, I am riding the wave of uncertainty and working with my present situation. I’m not in the job I love but I am able to save my money and still work on my passion. This helps me stay positive and mindful. I’ve also decided to surround myself friends that genuinely care for me and that will stimulate me in a positive manner. This will influence decisions in life. Mindfulness can be practiced through meditation. Closing your eyes and breathing in and out helps center one’s thoughts. Eating a healthy meal and getting enough rest will also help with anxiety. Work on your hobbies, craft and experience. because you love it and you know that it’s your passion. Such relevant hobbies will keep you centered and grounded in terms of optimism.

Life doesn’t have to be all work. Work for a living yet follow your side passions. Who knows? Maybe this will open doors to a career which will feel more like a hobby and less like work. And when that day comes, you will never have to work a single day in your life. This expression will resonate well for those dreamers who want to make a career out of their passion and yes it is possible!

If you feel discouraged or not content with your current position. I’m here to remind you that it’s not ” a forever thing” as some idiot ex told me about dating. It’s best you write down what you feel regarding the job: it’s pros and it’s cons. Write down what you actually appreciate about it even if you despise it. I’m sure there are skillsets that have been learned. Everything you experience in life becomes a lesson. Experience the journey but do not get caught up on it. Stay positive by appreciating the growth during the process.

Breathe

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Today, I sat in the subway and felt a pang of stress. A wave of melancholy hit me as I sat with my eyes closed. Tears streaming down my face. I felt all eyes on me. Hoping no one can tell I was crying under my large cat-eye frames, I wiped a quickly wiped my tears. The train stopped and I wished I were home. I wanted to yell, scream and cry out loud. I felt muted. I couldn’t do so. Today started off as a great day and somehow one comment twisted my thoughts into negative ones.

I’ve been negative for quite sometime. This happened before work. The grass may alway seem greener on the other side except for myself at the moment.The social media obsession of lurking and not feeling fully content with myself, as I constantly compare myself to others such as family, etc. The thought of an ex-boyfriend thriving in a relationship with someone else. The thought of my best friend ignoring me because we got into a stupid argument. Or how one of my close male friend has been self-absorbent lately with his business. Everyone seems busy and I am feeling neglected. Graduate school rejections crossing my mind. Binge eaten my feelings out and I’ve gained a few pounds. My self-esteem has dropped. I haven’t gone on a single date since the summer. I’ve chosen not to I guess. Trying to focus on my goals and dreams. However, I’ve given up on myself today. These are my negative thoughts. Once, I get into this vicious cycle it can be an emotional rollercoaster. This is anxiety and depression. 

Image result for breathe in breathe outI know that perhaps this is just a feeling that will pass. However, right now it feels eternal. Maybe tomorrow I will wake up and my thoughts will be positive. It’s time to let these feelings be feelings. I admit I am angry and I am certain it will pass. I will stop making assumptions. My comparisons never took me anywhere. I despise my job at times because it was never the dream career. Yet, it pays off the bills. There is more to life than this daily routine. I’m relieved to be home at the comfort of my own small room, writing out my deepest personal feelings. Writing is my therapy. I’m here to let you know its okay to cry.  If you can relate to me at some point in time. I’m here to let you know, you will persevere. Vent away. It’s okay to experience dark moments, as long as you get back up after sulking.

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It’s time to focus on your hobbies, ideas, and blessings. For instance, shower, eat , drink water ,write, draw, play music,  sing, dance, work out, clean, launder etc. or read an interesting book to destress. Whatever cheers you up. Breathe, because tomorrow is a new day. All those people or tragic events that have hurt you are no longer relevant in your life. Your life will head towards a new direction once you start to value yourself. Let go. Just breathe in and out.

FINDING TIME FOR YOURSELF

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Today I feel overwhelmed. Yes, I needed to take a personal sick day off from work for myself. It’s the worst feeling to wake up early ready for work and then decided your not going to go because the last minute cramps start to kick in and backache.  I’m also very anxious about all of my goals this Fall. I took Midol and no it did not solve my issues. As a female, I think its important to take some time off for yourself when your PMSING. There are a trillion things running through my mind at the moment and all I can do is write.

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BRB on a 1 hour bathroom break…

I am a writer and well it’s been a while since I’ve blogged on a continuous basis.  It is hard when you’re involved in a 9am to 6pm job that sucks the life out of you. My job isn’t terrible; in fact, my boss and co-workers are kind and pleasant to work with. However, it’s not my dream role and It pays my bills. Regardless, I am planning to apply to a few graduate schools next month. What lies ahead is a infinite amount of written work. I’ve realized how impatient I am with not getting instant gratification. I have worked hard my whole life and sometimes it feels like a vicious circle. I know I’m not the only one that feels this way, I’m a grown up millennial and yet at times, I just feel like a clueless toddler straddling through life. Is it ok to not be ADULTING as of yet? Or to be unsure of one’s next career path? Yeah, it’s normal. We are only humans. Some people are still finding themselves. As most MILLENNIALS, I have survived tough economic times such as  living through the subprime mortgage crisis and working a shit load of odd jobs to make ends meet while attending college and dealing with other obstacles. Settling in a permanent job is a fortunate outcome especially in this age, which is the reason I am so hesitant to leave at the moment. I don’t care how many business articles there are about the market’s vast improvement. I highly disagree; the fashion and business world is a very competitive field.  One in which I’ve worked in the majority of my adulthood.

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STEP RIGHT UP!

Some Recruiters can be a hit or miss but sometimes we have no choice but to be open-minded and give them a chance.  They will help you or turn the other cheek and literally ghost you for a younger shinier gullible desperate candidate. After a few years of working in the fashion industry; I’ve realized how much I would like to change my career. I don’t hate it, I just don’t care as much for it.

 

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BASIC MILLENNIALS, CAN WE NOT?

So I’m staying with my current job and building my writing portfolio on the side. I am very impulsive by nature, therefore, I’m training myself to be as disciplined as I can. Non-fiction Writing is helping me. Whether it’s writing about my personal life, issues, or goals. It works! Putting it in paper and seeing it work feels quite magical. Subconsciously its ingrained in your brain and eventually its achieved. So today, after my pressing yet hopeful rant ,I hope I can convince you fellow MILLENNIALS you’re not alone! I believe in you! You’re not going to be stuck in a dead end job.  Work hard towards your dream career. My suggestion is to ghost people on social media or in other words; disconnect from social media for a while. Stop posting cute photos, in order to gain attention from everyone, just be content with and by yourself. I think social media tends to make all of us unhappy because we are constantly  comparing ourselves to others. For example,  when we find our exes happy with someone else. We start to doubt ourselves. Why her not me? Whats wrong with me? It’s not fair, blah blah blah!…Just avoid lurking, if you find yourself doing so, read a book or write a blog! ( As I’m doing write now (pun intended hehe)) Okay, I will stop being corny. In addition, ignoring all text messages and calls from friends may just be the solution to that awful phone anxiety and co-dependence. Who cares if you didn’t make your friend’s fashion show or happy hour? It may sound selfish but at the moment take care of yourself, if you feel like you’re heading towards a mental breakdown. Bond with yourself. Read, write, paint, watch a movie, exercise, etc. Anything that helps you stay centered as long as you’re not hurting others.

Engage in healthy behavior such as proper dieting, learning new material, donating, volunteering, etc.  Seek new organizations that may even stimulate you in a group process for instance joining an art club or helping underprivileged communities. These changes will contribute to your happiness and help you find yourself. Friends come in different shapes and sizes, literally; and yes they will annoy the living shit out from us at times because no one’s perfect. All I can suggest is GHOST, take time for yourself and let them know you’re laying low this month and cannot ” hang out”  due to finances and busy schedule. Boom! Problem solved. NOW FOCUS ON YOURSELF! Share what you do to motivate yourself towards your goals throughout this tough economy and digital world.

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MENTAL HEALTH: STAY STRONG! LIVE A POSITIVE LIFE!

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Live life, learn, laugh, love and travel!

There are days that feel as if nothing is ever going to change. Days that feel, as if life is stagnant. That is how a person can feel after loosing a job, relationship, loved one, friendship, etc. It is always worse with a person who suffers mental turmoil, such as depression, anxiety, etc. The depressed can be overly critical of oneself.  One can even feel as if they’ve lost complete control of everything. An empty void is left and lifeless. How far will one go to treat it? There are an array of triggers that lead to mental turmoil, such as: genetics, dieting and life experiences. In the end, no one can save us but ourselves. There has to be a time where we get up and see the light at the end of the road. We can talk to a close friend, mentor or family but we are the only ones who can change. You only get one life and you live the life you want which is the life you were meant to live.

Therapy helps, however one must commit to the new change in therapy. The most important question to ask oneself is: Is my therapist right for me?  If not then you look for someone else you can talk to.  Do your research, look up clinics, try Zoc Doc or try your primary doctor. A good therapist may be someone who is going to teach you Cognitive Behavior Techniques to help you cope or the right medication. On the contrary, Medicine is always an option but psychiatric evaluation is a must. Medicine is only a necessity if one cannot function in society or becomes immobile to the point of harm. 

Mental stigma is a barrier that must be broken in this world. There are many people that have committed suicide. Talking about it and finding ways to cope can help save lives. There are many support groups or volunteering communities that partake in this. I don’t take medications for anxiety or depression because I hated the feeling of sedation. I prefer to engage in holistic activities and hobbies such as: exercise, dieting, hiking, friends, running, reading, concerts, etc. I’ve cut back on alcohol and any unhealthy habits that can trigger me.  I admit I’m not perfect and 100 percent happy, but I am grateful for many things in life.

Today I’ve had the guts to write about this shadow, I’ve dealt with for so many years. I have my high highs in life, where I absolutely enjoy my life and my low-lows, where my issues seem infinite with no solution. Sometimes I am invincible and other days I’d like to stay in my room and ignore the world, pretend I wasn’t feeling anymore. After my father passed away from cancer years ago, I felt like my world spiraled and I needed help. I graduated during a time where the market wasn’t so great. 2010-2012 was a difficult time in the economy, I stressed too much about finding permanent employment in my industry. At 24, I realized

I needed to get my thoughts together because I worried too much about the future or over-analyzed past situations. It was getting to me to the point where I could not breathe and realized these were anxiety attacks. I went through a few therapists to find the right one; one who can listen not judge and help me believe in me. I started to pursue my goals and enrolled back in school in 2014 and graduated in 2017. I accomplished many things and I am grateful for family, friends and joyful experiences. However the journey still continues. The journey to finding inner peace and stability. It’s hard for me to talk about this with friends and family, so I would rather write about it. I’m not fully there as of yet.

The point is to have a goal everyday and not let my mood affect my career or work.  To be able to manage the emotional intelligence I can possess or fake when I am placed in society. I am still a work-in-progress and still plan to pursue the career of my dreams. I also want to travel more and start a family someday (With the right man, that is). Love myself before I end up falling for someone else. My advice to others who suffer is that, sort out your issues before anyone comes into your world. Part of growing up is accepting who you are. Which means that if you’re suppressing yourself in a job, relationship, career, major, university, etc. that is stressing you out , then you need to find something you love. Don’t give up because of your age, it’s never too late for anything. Anxiety and Depression can be controlled. But it starts with you!

Talk to someone, if you feel you’re in danger because there will be someone who cares about you and YOU DO MATTER. Feel what you feel! but then get back up! stay busy with positive things, stay so busy, that you will forget what made you depressed in the first place. Yet, be grateful for each day because each day brings its own obstacles. Moreover what matters is how we deal and never take everything personal because then we will sulk misery; just know most personalities have nothing to do with you. In this people will let you down but you will let yourself down, when you expect so much in return from others. No one in life owes you anything. So owe yourself, and expect to be there for yourself when you’re not in the best of  moods. Never compare yourself to others or think that the grass is greener on the other side because no one is full happy. Surround yourself with positive friends and family. LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL. DON’T STRESS. LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE, TRAVEL AND LEARN! You only get one life so make the best of it and feel alive. STAY ALIVE! STAY STRONG!