Work. Life. Balance Challenges and Graduate School Acceptance!

BELIEVE AND YOU SHALL ACHIEVE..

Hello Everyone! I have started new employment, another yet, temporary soul-sucking corporate fashion position. Not my particular knack, however the pay convinced me to accept it. The hours are 9-6PM and I’m usually home by 7pm. It’s a long commute, however at the moment it’s necessary for my expenses. I’ve payed off my graduate school deposit and also some other unnecessary credit card expenses such as makeup, food, etc. I was on a roll before but I got side-tracked. Shame on me. The role I started is temporary and for my first paycheck I plan to pay off my credit card charges. It’s awful to feel constraint to money. In many ways I feel like I’m trapped in a vicious cycle. But I am a work in progress. I plan to save up for Grad school. I finally got accepted into a prestigious writing school for my MFA. I am excited about my journey to Sarah Lawrence College! I hope it works out after graduation and I can find a job I am passionate about.

Regardless, life is incredibly valuable to wonder what if? I might as well take the plunge and step into the unknown. Which is why I am studying something unrelated to my previous field.I don’t think my Fashion Business degrees were a waste, yet, the lack of permanent employment was. I view this new career change as another trait I am going to learn. I always had a knack for learning and I think school helped me remain positive despite trials and tribulations, whether it was a break-up, health and family issues etc. learning and deviating my mind from noise helped me stay focused on education. Right now, I’m struggling with my on-and-off depression and this new temporary gig has made me somewhat miserable. Logistics sucks and my boss is demeaning at times, yet I keep reminding myself this is just a short-term role. (Sigh). It’s tough to get up from bed every morning.

I took a sick day today to job hunt for more tolerable jobs away from this or retail (or anything that is fashion-related). I have also applied to teaching jobs, which is something that has always fulfilled me, even on a bad day. I think that it’s a noble career and more suitable for me. I enjoy teaching others and learning form them as well. Let’s hope this new path works out. I never thought in a million year, I was going to change fields. I just simply grew out my previous one and found my true passion in writing. It happened to me in my second semester in my undergrad and when I started tutoring others, I realized this was better than any catty corporate fashion company I’ve worked for. I thrived in it. Anyway, as I am actively applying to several jobs a day, I’ve realized not all hope is not lost.

Going forward, I’ve taken some steps to reduce my mental strain. No more comparing myself to other people and no more feeling envious or jealous. I am trying to journal my sentiments, so I can reflect on them rather than act them out in a state of rage or melancholy. I’ve decided I want to be happier and focus on myself. No more toxic friends or outings. No more toxic guys or relationships. Just spending more time alone and less as an extrovert. I am trying to rely more on myself and less on others for happiness because people will never satisfy me 100% percent. I think learning to tone down my feelings of surrounding myself with other people is important so I can be more emotionally independent. Therefore, I am vowing to take care of myself. I hope you can too and follow your true passions in life. Please share your experience about how you overcame your career switch and how do you cope with if you’re depressed at a job. I love feedback. I hope I can inspire you as your comments inspire me! Have a wonderful day and sending positive vibes your way!

BACK TO THE GRIND AND HUSTLE WITH POSITIVE VIBES!

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Hello world! quick update I just landed a job in retail. Not the best job in the world but I figured if I’m smart I will administer my money the proper way. My major goal is to save as much as I can. Knock more debt out of my life. And when I have done so, I will focus on my graduate school plans, getting an apartment and car. I’ve read so many articles online on people with minimum paying jobs that were able to pay off thousands of dollars. As dull of a frugal life may be, it may not be as bad as I think. There are tons of free events around the city. It’s nice to be able to think that I am getting closer to my goal. I just need to stay consistent. I can honestly say I haven’t spent a dime this week aside from my metro card for transportation to my doctor. But I’m happy because I am learning to control myself. I am learning the value of what it finally means to ADULT. I am trying to remain appreciative and not put too many expectations on others. It’s when the expectations are not met where I feel disappointment. I think being unemployed truly sucks!

The first week was relaxing but then I became anxious because I grew bored from all of my home activities. I also felt pressured from all the bills I was slammed with. But I’ve hit a pivot point and realized that it’s best to work with what I have. Besides, most successful people had to do engage in grunt odd jobs before landing their preferred job. I hate customer service, however at the moment the lack of jobs has forced me to find a solution. I can’t just wait until the perfect job falls out of the sky. As the saying goes: “Rome wasn’t built in a day”. Meaning sometimes it will take a while till one gets to their greatest reward. I’m not particularly thrilled about this new gig but Retail is about faking it till you make it. Smile, sell and provide great customer service for that commission.

I can think of a trillion reasons to complain but what is the point, it will not solve my current issues. Reading and writing has calmed me down the past couple of days. Exposing myself to new information and documentaries has helped me to not be so self-absorbed. I’ve also steered away from people who are detrimental to my mental health. False friends that only want to drink and act like complete idiots. False friends that will use you only when they are having a crisis but can’t return the favor. False friends that are not there…period. Staying busy is the most magnificent thing a person can do. I love learning because my brain goes 50 mph and I can’t stay still. It’s when I am learning that I can beat depression and anxiety. The thoughts go away and my brain is focused on processing new information. Lately, I’ve been able to focus on things that stimulate me in a positive way. What are you doing to stay centered? Please share your thoughts below. Have a fab fri-yay!

GRADUATION SCHOOL REJECTION? DONT GIVE UP!

untitledI can procrastinate sometimes. For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been a bit stagnant with the entire graduate school process. I have to be honest, I felt discouraged upon rejection with my top three choices. Going forward, I don’t want to look back in retrospect and think I should have taken action.

It’s best to get started even if I have no clue where it’s going to lead to. If you can relate to this. These graduate school applications are quite costly and if applied already and have been rejected re-applying again is going to be a rather doubtful process. I don’t plan to see it like this anymore. I also plan to apply to other schools that fit my budget. I think it’s important to dedicate at least 7 hours to your application throughout the week for enhance your portfolio and sending out emails to your mentors.

Always let them know in advance regarding your recommendations. Make sure you specify a short summary of your goals or a quick outline. It can be a strenuous process knowing that some may not submit your letters in a timely manner or perhaps even at all. It is necessary to push oneself towards these goals. Don’t think about what you don’t want. THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT. THINK POSITIVE.

Create a board, a collage, a plan, a sticky note to add to your bulletin board. Make sure to adapt to your graduate school checklist. I got waitlisted from an ivy league and didn’t get accepted but you know what that’s not going to stop me from trying again. As well as keeping my options open. I’m very excited about my future and where I’m heading with my career. The ideas are brewing in my brain and I am beyond excited to get started. STARTING NOW.

FINDING TIME FOR YOURSELF

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Today I feel overwhelmed. Yes, I needed to take a personal sick day off from work for myself. It’s the worst feeling to wake up early ready for work and then decided your not going to go because the last minute cramps start to kick in and backache.  I’m also very anxious about all of my goals this Fall. I took Midol and no it did not solve my issues. As a female, I think its important to take some time off for yourself when your PMSING. There are a trillion things running through my mind at the moment and all I can do is write.

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BRB on a 1 hour bathroom break…

I am a writer and well it’s been a while since I’ve blogged on a continuous basis.  It is hard when you’re involved in a 9am to 6pm job that sucks the life out of you. My job isn’t terrible; in fact, my boss and co-workers are kind and pleasant to work with. However, it’s not my dream role and It pays my bills. Regardless, I am planning to apply to a few graduate schools next month. What lies ahead is a infinite amount of written work. I’ve realized how impatient I am with not getting instant gratification. I have worked hard my whole life and sometimes it feels like a vicious circle. I know I’m not the only one that feels this way, I’m a grown up millennial and yet at times, I just feel like a clueless toddler straddling through life. Is it ok to not be ADULTING as of yet? Or to be unsure of one’s next career path? Yeah, it’s normal. We are only humans. Some people are still finding themselves. As most MILLENNIALS, I have survived tough economic times such as  living through the subprime mortgage crisis and working a shit load of odd jobs to make ends meet while attending college and dealing with other obstacles. Settling in a permanent job is a fortunate outcome especially in this age, which is the reason I am so hesitant to leave at the moment. I don’t care how many business articles there are about the market’s vast improvement. I highly disagree; the fashion and business world is a very competitive field.  One in which I’ve worked in the majority of my adulthood.

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STEP RIGHT UP!

Some Recruiters can be a hit or miss but sometimes we have no choice but to be open-minded and give them a chance.  They will help you or turn the other cheek and literally ghost you for a younger shinier gullible desperate candidate. After a few years of working in the fashion industry; I’ve realized how much I would like to change my career. I don’t hate it, I just don’t care as much for it.

 

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BASIC MILLENNIALS, CAN WE NOT?

So I’m staying with my current job and building my writing portfolio on the side. I am very impulsive by nature, therefore, I’m training myself to be as disciplined as I can. Non-fiction Writing is helping me. Whether it’s writing about my personal life, issues, or goals. It works! Putting it in paper and seeing it work feels quite magical. Subconsciously its ingrained in your brain and eventually its achieved. So today, after my pressing yet hopeful rant ,I hope I can convince you fellow MILLENNIALS you’re not alone! I believe in you! You’re not going to be stuck in a dead end job.  Work hard towards your dream career. My suggestion is to ghost people on social media or in other words; disconnect from social media for a while. Stop posting cute photos, in order to gain attention from everyone, just be content with and by yourself. I think social media tends to make all of us unhappy because we are constantly  comparing ourselves to others. For example,  when we find our exes happy with someone else. We start to doubt ourselves. Why her not me? Whats wrong with me? It’s not fair, blah blah blah!…Just avoid lurking, if you find yourself doing so, read a book or write a blog! ( As I’m doing write now (pun intended hehe)) Okay, I will stop being corny. In addition, ignoring all text messages and calls from friends may just be the solution to that awful phone anxiety and co-dependence. Who cares if you didn’t make your friend’s fashion show or happy hour? It may sound selfish but at the moment take care of yourself, if you feel like you’re heading towards a mental breakdown. Bond with yourself. Read, write, paint, watch a movie, exercise, etc. Anything that helps you stay centered as long as you’re not hurting others.

Engage in healthy behavior such as proper dieting, learning new material, donating, volunteering, etc.  Seek new organizations that may even stimulate you in a group process for instance joining an art club or helping underprivileged communities. These changes will contribute to your happiness and help you find yourself. Friends come in different shapes and sizes, literally; and yes they will annoy the living shit out from us at times because no one’s perfect. All I can suggest is GHOST, take time for yourself and let them know you’re laying low this month and cannot ” hang out”  due to finances and busy schedule. Boom! Problem solved. NOW FOCUS ON YOURSELF! Share what you do to motivate yourself towards your goals throughout this tough economy and digital world.

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