DEAR GOD

Image result for God heavens
Dear God, 
I'm drowning in pessimism,
You've allowed this demon to devour my spirits,
I've reached out to you vast amount of times and have exhausted myself,
You've not answered me and I've lost my faith,
Forgive me, for I have grown impatient,
My despair and sorrows remain ignored,                                                   
Have you left me in solitude to ruminate in my own thoughts?                        Do you hear my scream and cry for help?
Will you answer me in due time?
Forgive me for this glitch inside my brain,
I've struggled to seek answers from others,
They too have failed me, yet here I am praying to you,
Forgive me for all of my sins and actions,
I beg you to provide me answers to my prayers ,
I don't know the meaning of happiness anymore,
I've gone mad sulking in my own thoughts,
The world seems rather dull,
Release me from this state of gloom,
Please answer my prayers,
Illuminate my soul and turn my pain into creativity,
Release me from my pain and help me find the joy in life,
LOVE, HAPPINESS, FAMILY, FRIENDS, CAREER, PASSIONS, SELF-LOVE,
but more importantly HOPE,
Show me a sign that you will help me,
Please God, Heavenly Father,
Show me a sign,
Amen.

Self-Love

Dear Friend, 
Lately I've spiraled into a negative hole,
But when I'm with you,
You bring a positive aura into my world,
I wish I were more like you,
Young, positive, wild and free,
I used to be like you,
turning negativity into productivity,
But it was all a phase, A mask,
A personality I could never fully be,
Because once I loose control, I'm triggered,
I've become a monster, Despising myself and others,
Therefore, I'm compelled to write,
Just pour out my deepest dark emotions,
I hope I can make amends with everyone I hurt,
and everyone who's hurt me,
Why can't I be more grateful?
Why am I living in the past or fearing the future?
I'm consumed with these thoughts every waking hour,
I have no desire to interact with other people,
It's time to live in the present,
release everyone's actions,
Focus on what I can control,
Dear Friend, I wish you can teach me your ways.
But you, nor no one else, can't help me,
I have to help myself,
And that starts with Self-Love.