Work. Life. Balance Challenges and Graduate School Acceptance!

BELIEVE AND YOU SHALL ACHIEVE..

Hello Everyone! I have started new employment, another yet, temporary soul-sucking corporate fashion position. Not my particular knack, however the pay convinced me to accept it. The hours are 9-6PM and I’m usually home by 7pm. It’s a long commute, however at the moment it’s necessary for my expenses. I’ve payed off my graduate school deposit and also some other unnecessary credit card expenses such as makeup, food, etc. I was on a roll before but I got side-tracked. Shame on me. The role I started is temporary and for my first paycheck I plan to pay off my credit card charges. It’s awful to feel constraint to money. In many ways I feel like I’m trapped in a vicious cycle. But I am a work in progress. I plan to save up for Grad school. I finally got accepted into a prestigious writing school for my MFA. I am excited about my journey to Sarah Lawrence College! I hope it works out after graduation and I can find a job I am passionate about.

Regardless, life is incredibly valuable to wonder what if? I might as well take the plunge and step into the unknown. Which is why I am studying something unrelated to my previous field.I don’t think my Fashion Business degrees were a waste, yet, the lack of permanent employment was. I view this new career change as another trait I am going to learn. I always had a knack for learning and I think school helped me remain positive despite trials and tribulations, whether it was a break-up, health and family issues etc. learning and deviating my mind from noise helped me stay focused on education. Right now, I’m struggling with my on-and-off depression and this new temporary gig has made me somewhat miserable. Logistics sucks and my boss is demeaning at times, yet I keep reminding myself this is just a short-term role. (Sigh). It’s tough to get up from bed every morning.

I took a sick day today to job hunt for more tolerable jobs away from this or retail (or anything that is fashion-related). I have also applied to teaching jobs, which is something that has always fulfilled me, even on a bad day. I think that it’s a noble career and more suitable for me. I enjoy teaching others and learning form them as well. Let’s hope this new path works out. I never thought in a million year, I was going to change fields. I just simply grew out my previous one and found my true passion in writing. It happened to me in my second semester in my undergrad and when I started tutoring others, I realized this was better than any catty corporate fashion company I’ve worked for. I thrived in it. Anyway, as I am actively applying to several jobs a day, I’ve realized not all hope is not lost.

Going forward, I’ve taken some steps to reduce my mental strain. No more comparing myself to other people and no more feeling envious or jealous. I am trying to journal my sentiments, so I can reflect on them rather than act them out in a state of rage or melancholy. I’ve decided I want to be happier and focus on myself. No more toxic friends or outings. No more toxic guys or relationships. Just spending more time alone and less as an extrovert. I am trying to rely more on myself and less on others for happiness because people will never satisfy me 100% percent. I think learning to tone down my feelings of surrounding myself with other people is important so I can be more emotionally independent. Therefore, I am vowing to take care of myself. I hope you can too and follow your true passions in life. Please share your experience about how you overcame your career switch and how do you cope with if you’re depressed at a job. I love feedback. I hope I can inspire you as your comments inspire me! Have a wonderful day and sending positive vibes your way!

JUST A DREAM

Timing was never right we met at the wrong time,

If only we were to try again, maybe this time it will work,

Love is unpredictable and dating is uncertain,

However you became my comfort zone,

Your smile brightened up my day,

Your soul brought me warmth,

I can still taste your enticing lips and smell your scent,

Here we go again, crossing paths just like old times,

Will you become a part of my future or remain a part my past?

This emotional rollercoaster has consumed me,

Where are you now? No response.

You’re gone, I feared this day would come,

At night melancholy consumes my heart,

I pray to God for your return,

Closing my eyes as I wish for a future with you,

A ray of hope lies within the depths of my soul,

You were a beautiful oasis, a breath of fresh air,

And perhaps I will never experience you again,

Our love was unreal, you were unreal,

Just a figment of my imagination,

As if I’ve imagined you since the start.

But in the end you were just a dream.

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Original artwork: “Bleeding Heart” by MD

GRADUATION SCHOOL REJECTION? DONT GIVE UP!

untitledI can procrastinate sometimes. For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been a bit stagnant with the entire graduate school process. I have to be honest, I felt discouraged upon rejection with my top three choices. Going forward, I don’t want to look back in retrospect and think I should have taken action.

It’s best to get started even if I have no clue where it’s going to lead to. If you can relate to this. These graduate school applications are quite costly and if applied already and have been rejected re-applying again is going to be a rather doubtful process. I don’t plan to see it like this anymore. I also plan to apply to other schools that fit my budget. I think it’s important to dedicate at least 7 hours to your application throughout the week for enhance your portfolio and sending out emails to your mentors.

Always let them know in advance regarding your recommendations. Make sure you specify a short summary of your goals or a quick outline. It can be a strenuous process knowing that some may not submit your letters in a timely manner or perhaps even at all. It is necessary to push oneself towards these goals. Don’t think about what you don’t want. THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT. THINK POSITIVE.

Create a board, a collage, a plan, a sticky note to add to your bulletin board. Make sure to adapt to your graduate school checklist. I got waitlisted from an ivy league and didn’t get accepted but you know what that’s not going to stop me from trying again. As well as keeping my options open. I’m very excited about my future and where I’m heading with my career. The ideas are brewing in my brain and I am beyond excited to get started. STARTING NOW.