MY DAILY MOTIVATION

Write down your plan and what is working for you!

I am skeptic about many things in my life right now. The uncertainty of money, this stupid job, useless advice from people, relatives, etc. However, this is normal, to fear the unknown, yet take the plunge into something that has become my safe haven. Writing is my therapy. There are so many things I need to write about and I’m afraid of spilling half of those things out in writing but it needs to happen. I’m starting to think that maybe I can experiment with Fiction. Writing about myself through another character, growing up in a strict religion, loosing people through illness and just growing apart from others and making new friends, but more importantly finding myself. I think I need to start building my portfolio asap! it needs more content and there is an unfinished book I’ve stopped working on. As skeptic and stressed out as I am, I had the best sleep ever! Today I feel energized and ready to work. Only motivator for me is the pay at this job!

Despite feeling secluded in a corporate fashion logistics role at a cool contemporary brand, I dislike my boss and this job. Crunching numbers makes me feel drained and there’s not an ounce of creativity in this role. However, I’ve made a list of things that make it worthwhile: #1 Great location and less people! (even thought it’s far) #2 Salary! (I have not received proper salary since forever and I am just on the cusp…. so, I’l work with what I have) #3 Temporary Assignment (This means that the position may close at any time. Therefore, I shall work with what I have and just keep in mind I will not be in that corporate jail forever.

As much as I wanted to leave, I keep reminding myself to be grateful because I have this advantage to save up for graduate school and pay ooff other debt. Socializing with friends that are in a similar situation as me is such a motivator, it has helped me cope with my situation. I think keeping certain factors in mind helps me stay centered! I’ve also been sleeping better thanks to meditation and mindfulness, a topic I’l discuss later on. What helps you wake up everyday? What are your motivators? When doo you find time to work on your craft? Please share and thanks for doing so. Have an awesome day!

Not the one

She left her mark on you.
I wanted to surpass her with my personality,
because its what you abandoned me for,
As angry as I was I forgave you,
I just wanted acceptance,
for you to crave me like you once did,
as I walked towards you time froze,
expression lines ingrained your face,
a few years older and wiser,
you were just as perfect as when we were young,
we both knew this meetup was foolish,
It was false, I was your rebound and you were heartbroken,
I tried so hard to make it right,
yet we were too different, time had changed us,
I wanted to be me but felt the need to be someone else,
I still reflect at a time I had you close,
and lost you that same instant,
we parted ways,
and you met someone else,
There was always someone else
what would have happened if we were a match?
would you have loved me more than her?

regardless, I was not the one.

I was never the one.