NEXT STOP: A CAREER CHANGE

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One of the hardest things to do when you are unemployed is to SAVE. Currently, I’m in that state where I am engaging with anything or anyone that is FREE. As you already know, I am an avid concert goer and yet I’ve laid low with concert purchases. I’m also in the midst of saving for Graduate school, as I don’t know what funding will be like going forward. I’ve stopped shopping to become frugal because I’ve decided to make the most of every piece of item I own. No more fancy splurges on nails, nor boozy brunches or fancy cocktails. It’s hard but there are tons of things to do at an affordable price. Cooking meals at home will save you so much money and it will benefit you when you recycle left overs.

This is the best time for me to take advantage of being this free and apply to free scholarships. Chegg.com has tons of them. It’s certainly not easy, I’m still in transition of switching my career. Today, I was told I did not sufficient experience in an area of my field. My question to these picky industry folks is, ” How is one supposed to even gain experience if they are not given a chance?” I am frustrated.

However, a part of me is also motivated and I’m sure most of you (unemployed-soon-to pursue-graduate-school-folks ) can relate. I’ve sworn so much today well in my head. I’m just open to positive vibes going forward. And if I have to slave away in retail then screw it, I will do so. Anything, I just don’t want to be unemployed any longer. Spring is here and I’m not going to waste another day in bed. I am gonna get up and apply to more jobs. If you are ready for that career change don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, trust yourself and move forward. You have a vision and even if it requires grunt jobs temporarily you will get there!

Not the one

She left her mark on you.
I wanted to surpass her with my personality,
because its what you abandoned me for,
As angry as I was I forgave you,
I just wanted acceptance,
for you to crave me like you once did,
as I walked towards you time froze,
expression lines ingrained your face,
a few years older and wiser,
you were just as perfect as when we were young,
we both knew this meetup was foolish,
It was false, I was your rebound and you were heartbroken,
I tried so hard to make it right,
yet we were too different, time had changed us,
I wanted to be me but felt the need to be someone else,
I still reflect at a time I had you close,
and lost you that same instant,
we parted ways,
and you met someone else,
There was always someone else
what would have happened if we were a match?
would you have loved me more than her?

regardless, I was not the one.

I was never the one.







Freelance your way into success with a POSITIVE MIND!

I’m stuck in a job that I’m not particularly fond of. Another short-term position sucking the creative soul out of me. I despise that I am always treated as a “temp”. Even when introduced to others in the office. Yesterday was a day I wanted to quit because I read a complex facial expression on my boss while training me. These people hired me for a reason however, I feel as if they expect perfection. This makes me anxious. My heart desires creativity and less corporate seclusion.

Also, there is more pressure to work hard in this job knowing that it is not a permanent position and just a 15 week project with the “possibility of going permanent”. Coworkers can be harsh but sometimes life is about swallowing your pride and accepting the obstacles. Coworkers are quite clique-ish and that is okay as long as I stay out of it. If I don’t click with anyone, I’m there to learn, provide and receive a paycheck. I am professional, courteous and try to be as focused as I can. Occasionally, I’ll engage in small talk on light subjects to keep it light. I ask when I need to ask and take notes. On the contrary, it is hard to remain positive so I’ve started writing out my goals again as a self-reminder.

Learning a new software or a complete new field can be difficult. Fortunately, its a trait because one is gaining new skill sets. It’s evident that “trash talk” from other employees, will mostly likely occur during or after the training period. People get frustrated and it is human. However, I am learning to let it go, if I hear my name, I won’t assume it was about me and if it was… it is irrelevant. I am not there to make friends but to learn, focus and leave my work problems there. I hate talking about work outside of work , therefore I’m learning to delete the topic after hours. It helps me stay stress free when I do.

I’m truly frustrated with this state of limbo. After I got laid off last year, I’ve only been freelancing despite applying to permanent roles. Sometimes one has to choose what they can get in order to survive and build experience. Today is a clear example of why I’m doing this. I can still create art, play my electric guitar and write on the side. And attend live music shows because music is life at least for me. These hobbies keep me grounded and remind me not to quit because what is life?… when you don’t have enough funds for shows, rent and travel. Gotta keep hustling away.

If anyone feels stagnant in their just remember don’t leave until you save enough funds or find something better. You won’t regret it when you do. The main key is to continue to create if you’re a creative person like me but stuck in a corporate jail. Remember that everything is temporary.

Have a “teflon mind” where you can you can adapt to situations but not get attached. My issue for example is controlling anxiety, if I get constructive criticism in the workplace inside I’m suffering because I think I’m going to get fired. Basically I can set myself up for self-sabotage which is not healthy. I’ve been at this new freelance position for almost a month and everyday I’m learning. However, this is not going to stop me from pursuing my master’s degree.

My goal is to seek higher education and switch my career. Stating this out loud makes me feel great! It keeps me grounded when I feel like I’m drowning at work. If you feel this way, I’m glad you’re reading! because you’re not alone and just remember to stay positive and write out your goals everyday. Stay strong.

How to remain positive when you’ve been laid-off?

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JOB HUNT

 Job hunting can be a strenuous process, one which I am dealing with. I have recently got laid-off my job “due to corporate structuring”. Despite, it not being my dream role, such rejection still affected me. I was flooded with emotions. Angry, upset, depressed, relieved, etc. It took two weeks and I think I am over the negative emotions. Regardless, I am grateful for the opportunity and my boss writing me a reference letter. A kind gesture I remind myself when I feel discouraged. My word of advise to people out there who have lost their jobs due to corporate restructuring is ” Keep your head up and count your blessings”. Easier said than done right? but really, don’t hesitate to reach out to your former bosses and mentors for reference letters. I did and it worked. Don’t burn your bridges and stay humble because in the networking world, it is crucial to remain professional at all times.

CONFIDENCE
The worst they can say NO and then you move on to the next. When my father was alive, he used to tell me, “don’t loose hope because in this life you will get 100 NO’s and eventually one YES”. This is how I view the interviewing  process as well. And of course, dating but that is another story and separate article. My dating life is on pause right now possibly because I’m not ready for it. Confidence is about persistence, positivity and perseverance. It truly is about being your own boss and learning how to manage your emotional intelligence with others. This involves self-pep talks the minute you feel an instant negative thought seep into your brain. It’s a work-in-progress to be confident, so keep at it because this determines longevity in a job. Ask questions and be a better version of yourself. I started a freelance role that did not turn out to be such a great fit. I was told by the agency after a day of employment. I was upset, yet, relieved. Now I am grateful because I can begin again. A whole new slate and this time I plan to find something that suits my needs not just salary based but a role that fits me. This time around I plan to demonstrate confidence, to not fear the unknown nor create assumptions. I will make an effort and not let my anxieties or past experiences dominate my abilities.

SUPPORT
Currently, I am trying to remain optimistic about this change in my life. I compare it to dating where you get emotionally invested with a company and when you’re laid-off it feels like the end of a relationship. I am focused on applying to about 50 roles each day online. On the other hand, I am also trying to surround myself with good company, close friends that will be there for moral support. Ignoring all negative people such as ex- boy friends who come back to destroy my mental health. Surround yourself with positive vibes exclude those that wreak havoc upon yourself.

PERSPECTIVE
I believe placing one’s mental health first is a necessity to function. I’m a work-in-progress, I’ve cried, vented and binge-eaten, etc. as well as other behaviors. However, I had an epiphany while I was in solitude. I prayed and meditated all night. I woke up this morning and had a sudden energy to clean, organize and declutter my life. I did and I feel accomplished. Sometimes it’s the little things that count and the best thing in life aren’t always things. It’s about one’s self-consumption and present state of mind.

ACTION
While, I’ve become obsessive about my job hunt, I have decided to make time for myself. I have focused on better eating habits, full rest, reading, writing, art, walks, listening to music, chores, cleaning, organizing and positive thinking. This has helped me. I highly recommend engaging in healthy behaviors whilst seeking a job. Talk therapy truly helps as well, however lately, I’ve been involved in Art Therapy, an effective creative form of therapy. Sometimes, I draw, paint, mold, sculpt while discussing my feelings.  Analyzing this aspect about myself has helped me. It’s been amazing liberating to create beautiful art and write during this time. I found a form to cope with myself, I’ve felt as if I’ve let a weight off my shoulder. I have cried and vented. I have faith that I will get through this and if you’re experiencing a a similar situation. You will too! Find your way to cope and focus on what matters.

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Farewell

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When I spiraled into a hole of darkness,

You gave me hope,

You gave me a reason to hold on,

I valued your friendship,

You became my haven when I was tangled in a whirlwind,

however, it has dissipated into a oblivion,

You’re stubborn and proud,

More than I could ever try to be,

If I had never reached out to you,

You probably wouldn’t care,

Your words are sharper than a blade,

It’s stabbed my heart deeply,

Believing in you was the worst thing I did for myself,

Now I can’t trust anyone,

I am ruined once again,

My confidence is gone today,

but maybe I’ll regain it someday,

I surely missed you

And sometimes I think it wasn’t you,

Perhaps I just needed a friend,

A distraction from myself,

A rescue from my own issues.

This co-dependency was never healthy,

It’s evident we needed to part ways,

Letting go from our past and differences,

Now it’s time for me to be my own best friend.

I wish you nothing but the best,

Farewell, former friend.